Who Are These People?

I work in medical billing/coding. ITT Tech or Virginia College didn't offer me a life I couldn't refuse, I just landed in medical billing doing data entry because, well, because a couple friends that work there recommended me to their boss. I've recently been trained to do the actual billing and have since decided to share my thoughts, interpretations, and misinterpretations of said codes.

I wonder who came up with the terms used to describe some of these diagnoses. I mean really, most of them sound terribly painful, others are just one term shoved in front of or behind another 2 or 3 terms to make one big fancy diagnosis.

An unspecified intestinal obstruction is 560.9. How many kinds of obstructions can one have in their intestines that there's a code for unspecified? I'm not entirely certain I even want to know.

The coding system works like this (from what I can gather on the code website): 560 is the initial identifier, meaning there are a series of decimal numbers depending on the kind of obstruction. The fact that this one is .9 is alarming. There are at least 8 specified obstructions and they said, f*ck it, the rest will go under .9 because they also had ADHD and got bored.

Speaking of ADHD, that code is 314.01 and the fancy term is hyperkinetic syndrome.  I fell into the Hyperactive/Impulsive group by the by, which I must add, is typically a male ADHD trait. "I have superpowers?!" No, no you do not. Shit. In fact, I'm a firm believer I got screwed in that department because the nurses already handed out the grab bags of specially chosen powers for any given ADHD individual based on personality traits and tics. Jerks. I want a refund.

I wonder what kind of super power it would be though. Hyperkinetic. Sounds like magically moving things with your mind, right? I accidentally knock things over but not from across the room, and most certainly not with my mind, so that power is out. I'm lucky if I remember to physically move things out of the way before my spastic arm movement knocks it off the desk.

An EKG diagnoses I had just today. How you come to this particular conclusion upon reading waves of heart beats is beyond me, but this one had me in my own world for a good portion of the work day. *clears throat* Pregnant state, incidental. Incidental: not of prime or central importance; following or accompanying as a consequence. So does this mean some pregnancies are more important than others or that pregnancy is caused by something other than sex? Please, doc, explain. Because this one is stuck in my head. Thank you inventors of incredibly annoying multi definitional terms you've bestowed upon my already complex thought system. It is most unappreciated as this is my current means of income.

What if we all spoke in this code? What would that be like? How pissed off would I be every single day of my life if I had no idea what anyone was talking about because it was all in decimal ridden numbers? The normal ability to spot something far more important than what you're saying and tune you out to think about this spotted object, is enough of a distraction thank you. It's most likely a shiny object as well. Just sayin'.